14 April 2006

Ah, the long awaited ramblings of my mind...The odds of anyone I care reading this? At this point I could really care less. I have neglected this outlet for quite sometime and realized that this too is a form of therapy that is free no less. So after approximately a month and a half after my 25th birthday I see that I may be traveling a path that I thought would never come fast enough. Many of my friends were worried that I was going to have my 'quarter life crisis', I scoffed at the idea and went about my birthday...exactly one week later I had a mini breakdown that was set off by numerous mini events that I won't go into at this time. Nevertheless, the predictions were true and I felt that a HUGE lifestyle change was in order. Well, the lifestyle hasn't changed but at least I feel that I have made steps towards a larger picture.

Identity is now becoming less of a question as I grow into the person that I've so wanted to be for so long. The imperfections of my persona are being welcomed by my stregnths and in turn are building who I am as a person. I'm running and often stumbling with these thoughts and at times all of it seems overwhelming. Those are usually the days prior to my crimson flow, and as of now I disregard those days as nothing more than the usual hormonal imbalance of a female in her mid-twenties.

I wait impatiently for changes to come, as if tomorrow I were to have a completely different life.

I digress...I return...I digress...that took about twenty minutes.

Let's leave this unfinished...

02 December 2005

Giving Thanks in Highland Park

Contributing Writer McG

Saturday night was one of revelry and relaxation, assisted socially by good company and chemically by Moskovskaya Vodka from Trader Joe’s. Sure it was only $8 for the 750ml bottle. Go ahead and laugh at the fact that the label looks like a rip-off of the Stoli label. (See first picture below.) I did some research on it today and fact is, it’s well received, and owned by the same company that owns Stolichnaya. Ahh, good deals always make me feel good. Ironically, the night was simulataneously extremely sobering, almost more sobering than anything I’ve ever experienced, to see my dear aunt for the first time since her stroke. Seeing her at the party reminded me of the one thing for which I am most grateful this year. Anyway, it goes without saying that alcohol heightens my sense of brotherly love, and I am also grateful for all of the family and friends I have been so lucky to have. Thanks, Tara for the food, and generally to everyone who went, and to those who took care of me when my stomach went. Tamales in the HP for life!

21 November 2005

Insomniacs have to sleep sometimes

The only things that are keeping my head from slamming into my keyboard are 1) my hands & 2) the 2 x 4 propped under my chin. It's about 330 in the afternoon and all I want to do is say "night-night". Remind me to NEVER take mid-afternoon naps ever AGAIN!!!! I wish that my lack of sleep was directly related to a late night drinking session, but no, it's not. I just want to take a fucking NAP!!!! The 2 x 4 is starting to become slightly uncomfortable and I'm getting a crick in the back of my neck. At this point I'm prepared to ditch the wood and go for something slightly more...shall we say, 'Clockwork Orange-ish'? Yes people, you know what I'm talking about. The one 'ever fixed mark' that will forever be bludgeoned into my memory (besides the gratuitous sex scenes) that till this very day makes my eyelashes curl all on their own...the contraption.
If anyone has access to one of these it will save me the time and energy of looking for those nifty little olive grabbers that go for $30 at Williams-Sonoma, or I suppose I could go the ghe-tto way and just pin my eyelids to my eyebrows with sewing pins. (I am virtually invisible to physical pain...MOST of the time.)

Wait a minute! STOP! Hold the fucking presses! Why the hell does he have a Mona Lisa grin on his face? Place a finger over his eyes and tell me that what remains is not a look of content. GODDAMNIT Stanley, you let something slip by you. I understand that this is a still, and the overall feel for this scene is one of dementia, but this bothers me.

TANGENT! I'm tired, and now I'm bored, I thought that this would help (writing that is), and although I thought it was working it's NOT!

FUCK Williams-Sonoma hand me the pin cushion.

11 November 2005

The Ship is going DOWN



I realize when you get to the end of this blog it will say that I started writing this at 9:22ish in the morning. Yeah, so what? This will be a short preface to the events that will taking place tonite at Dimples. There are only a select few that I would consider going to this bar with. D, you are lucky that you are one of them. Not to mention that after today's events that still have yet to take place, you are really going to need a night out to drown in some HYPNO.

For my fellow pirates who know not what 'Dimples' is, well...it's a karaoke bar in beautiful Burbank, California directly across the street from every major television studio known to man. And yes ladies, the man does work across the street in the Rhino Records building...(consider that my homage to you Brainpanic). On any given night, and I mean ANY GIVEN NIGHT, you can run into Dennis Haskins. Who the fuck is Dennis you ask? Why good ol' Mr. Belding of Saved by the Bell fame. So come one and come all to not only celebrate D's 2nd birthday party, but to see the musical stylings of Dennis Haskins. He's especially hot when he does his redition of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual", I even get wet between the legs. And, if that doesn't do it for you, D has told me that she plans to unleash the Dor-I tonight, that in itself folks is quite a treat. HEH. And, if you have fallen prey to the Dor-I before and you long to be taken into someone else's insanity the Chaquita flew into town yesterday and plans on singing all of her ballads in a wheelchair wearing a money coat. (I promise that follow up photos will be up soon) Till tonight I shall say adieu, raise your crunk cups, and give me an AHRG!

10 November 2005

FUCK IT AND SUCK IT!

So... the saga continues. What the Fuck!!! MF #1 fucking texted me today at 6pm, which is an improvement from 2am, to say "what up?" FUCK YOU ASSHOLE,GO TO FUCKING HELL. GO SUCK ON YOUR OWN MOTHA FUCKING DICK, YOU ASS! Why don't you pick up the phone and CALL ME like normal civilized people!

Then he said, "i wish you could have come over the other night." Ugh... Are you FUCKING kidding me? So what, i could suck your FUCKING DICK!!!!! The fucking nerve MF #1 has. I even told that sorry ASSHOLE that calling or texting me at 1 or 2am is a fucking BOOTY CALL.

He responded, "Or not..." What the FUCK is that suppose to mean? Ugh, i don't know where the FUCK you live asshole, but on earth, it's a MOTHA FUCKING BOOTY CALL!!!!!! GET IT STRAIGHT YOU ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! And then he goes and write, "sad face."
ARE YOU GAY NOW, YOU ASS-MUNCHER!!!!

Why do men have to be soo difficult? Is that hard to tell me the fucking truth. Either you want to be with me or you don't. SUCK IT UP. It's almost been a year since i met you ASSWIPE!!!! I would think you should know by now if you want to be with me or not. I know i do, but NOVAK says, helllllll no! sad face.

ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, LIKE MF#1 AND MF#2, FUCK IT AND SUCK IT!!!!

08 November 2005

The sirod crashed and burns once again


Who is to say why she finds herself in these predicaments. Intimidating? Very much so. Absolutely obnoxious? Only after a five course dinner...or breakfast...or lunch. Loyal? More loyal than Tuna to Jay. Perhaps I'm impartial towards the entire situation since, after all, the two parties involved happen to be two of my best friends. One is lonely and the other is a MOTHERFUCKER, also known as MAN.

Let us refer to MAN as MF for the duration of this rant, for I am a very forgiving person...but just not today. MF #1 thought that he was just "too cool for school" and figured that just because he met a girl in a bar that all she wanted was to be treated like the booty-call that she isn't. C'mon now, sirod isn't me. Someone needs to tell this ipod jerk-off that any sort of communication after 2:30 in the fucking morning will be construed as a booty-call and if the girl has any insight on her own self worth she will be smart enough to tell the ipod jerk-off MF to 'FUCK OFF!', which she did, and I am very proud of her. The MF on the other hand needs to come to the conclusion that he treated the mother of the children he is never going to have with her like a piece of shit. He then proceeded to not even pick her up and toss her in the trash, but to leave her out in the sun to dry and eventually turn into shit dust. But did the MF even have the decency to sweep her up? No, instead he preferred to leave the pile of shit dust along the pathway to his front door and continues to leave his door open a crack. If I ever meet this wanker in person, so help me...his grandchildren are going to feel it in their balls.

MF #2, who so happens to be my best male friend, knows that he was the ultimate fuck-up of the century on Saturday night, and I know this because it's Monday night and he still hasn't called me. He proceeded to flirt with one girl while completely ignoring the one that he is on love with. Then he sought out to pawn her off to his friend, which by the way MF's is the shiestiest move any scumbag can pull. Who the fuck do you think you are in your Diesel kicks and your Norton's jacket sittin' there by candle light with your pirate grog in hand? Fuck You! She doesn't need saving, and she can't sack up and say it to your face. So I will. You see her for who she is, and the ipod jerk-off doesn't even have a clue as to who she is. You admitted to being drawn to her...like this unstoppable force that plagues your every thought (i know this because you told me so) and yet you continue to sleep with your safety blanket. Grow up old man, 40 is just around the corner...